I need a drink

TOPIC: Beer

I feel like work has been non-stop and with the undercurrent of drama I haven't had a restful night in the past week.  What is there possibly to stress about?? I just want a dreamless night, please. So all I could think about after work is getting a beer.  Not just that but grabbing beer, heading to a rooftop and hanging out with friends while we talk about life. There is something about beer that makes me feel like I am allowed to be lazy.  Thank you Homer Simpson.

Credit: comicvine.com

That aside, here's the breakdown of beer:

WHAT'S INSIDE?

1. Where as wine comes from grapes, beer comes from grains.  Usually it's barley but others grain like oats, wheat, corn, and millet have been used.  Barley is best though and has become the grain of choice.  First, the grain has to be converted to "malt."  This is done by soaking the grains in water and allowing it to breakdown from the inside out.  Enzymes from the embryo (innermost center of the grain) work outwards by breaking down cell walls and starch + proteins that reside in the endosperm. It will sprout and signal starch digestion has occured. Yay! Longer soak in water means darker the malt. (sugars turn brown, just like when you make caramel). The kiln process is next where the grains are dried and heated to kill the embryo and retain the balance of enzymes and sugars. That dry grain can be stored and used whenever it is needed. TA DA! You have malt. 
2. Hops. It's the female flower portion of vine plant. Not saying the name because it's in Latin and we all know that's a dead language. Moving on, they are crucial to the flavoring of the beer. The more dried hops are added, the more flavorful the beer will be. Think dark, earthy microbrews. This is also where the bitterness comes from. Erm..not a fan of that but to each their own!

PROCESS

1. Mashing: malt is reconstituted with water and both starches and protein is broken down into it's most basic form of sugars and amino acids, respectively. Then you call that brown liquid wort. What a weird word.
2. Boil, boil, toil and trouble: add the desired amount of hops. During this process, flavors are extracted from the hops, bacteria is killed, and enzymes inactivated. The result is a darker, more concentrated wort.
3. Fermentation: yeast is added. Most common is Saccharomyces cerevisiae (for fast fermentation). The process takes about a week at a pretty warm temperature of 71F/21C.
4. Conditioning: Where the beer is clarified and bubbles are produced from carbon dioxide. Ideally it would happen naturally but who can wait for beer? So nowadays, carbon dioxide is pumped straight into the mixture. The beer is then filtered to clear it of all the yucky things floating inside, packaged and pasteurized. 

SERVE

Keep it away from light because the beer will develop a strong sulfur odor. Skunky is the term. The light reacts with the hop's acid creating an unstable free radical that in turn will react with sulfur compounds thus resulting in the skunk smell. Not so tasty. 

Cold for lighter beers. Room temperature for lagers/darker beers to get the full body flavors.

Yeah. I can't believe I typed all that. Here's a video of all those crazy beer myths you heard. Can't believe beer before liquor, never sicker has been debunked. Sadness. I need a beer.